As Gopi returned home from the market, everything looked pell-mell in the house. Father is walking in the veranda to and fro with a sad face. Seeing Gopi, turning his face aside, he says, “Received wire. Pedananna^[1] may no more…!”

Gopi’s heart suddenly stopped. Stood silently—

He adored his pedananna.  He nurtured him. He brought him up in life. He used to say, “I have no desires! I want to retire from life seeing you grown-up.” And what has it all come to now?

 Wiping his tears, his father asks…

 “Will you come?”

 As though to say “Yes” Gopi nods his head.

 “I don’t have money. If you have, give me five rupees.”

Gopi hasn’t spoken. He quietly pulls out the five rupees that he has in the pocket and gives him.

His father, tucking his stuff into a box, says, “Get ready. It’s time for the train. If we are late, we may not even be able to see him before he breathes his last.” 

Hiding his tears from his father by turning to the other side, he replies, “Please go by this train. I shall come in the evening.”

Surprised, his father stops his packing for a while.

Staring at him, “Why? Seems his condition is quite serious. If we don’t start by this train—”

Afraid of listening to the rest of the words, Gopi moves away.

His father looks at him suspiciously and angrily. Since quite sometime he could not comprehend his son. Earlier, he could see his reflection in his son, and be happy of it. Subsequently, he could see no reflection whatsoever. Of late, he looks more confusing and terrible.  

“Ok! As you wish,” saying, he leaves by the train.

Gopi heaves a sigh. “I must see pedananna. Must listen to his last words.” He is quite determined.

He has no money, whatever he had, he gave it to his father. Whom shall he ask? How to ask?

He roams all over the town. Meets all his friends. He spoke to them this and that, but without raising the topic of money, returns home. Bolting the door, he sits alone and cries.

*****

At the other end, by the time Gopi’s father reaches, his pedananna is in terminal stages.

Seeing him, he asks: “Has Gopi come?”

“I asked him to come. Said he will come in the evening.”

Evening train arrives. There is no Gopi. Even then pedananna, is holding his breath by shear grit for Gopi. At the sound of even an ant’s crawling, he whispers, “Gopi.”

Train came. No Gopi.

Saying, “want to see Gopi ... could not,” pedananna gives up… his breath.

All cry at once—

Rascal! Failed to be in time for his last look even.  He has let the old man die dissatisfied.

Everybody around curses him in whatever way they could.

Gopi’s father sits quietly listening to all those curses. He becomes wild. “Scoundrel. Ill-gotten was he—” murmurs within himself, grinding his teeth.

*******

Here, Gopi doesn’t get sleep. As it dawns, he gets up and goes to the post office to see if any letter has come.  No letter. This makes him a little calm.  Must have recovered, perhaps. Felt happy dreaming that he would still have the fortune of making his pedananna recite the poems from Bharatam^[2] and Bhagavatam^[3] and enjoy listening to them. But, the happiness is only make-believe. For, he is shuddering within not knowing what news will come when.

Imagining this and that, Gopi stays at home whole day. As evening advances, his heart calms a bit. Thinking, “If it is still serious, they would have sent a telegram again,” he sighs—

Meanwhile, alighting the train, Gopi’s father himself arrives. Seeing his face, Gopi’s heart quivers—what could have happened? Pedananna … Not being able to stay there, not being able to see his father’s face he rises to go inside.

“Gopi!” yells his father.

Gopi stops. His heart trembles... what would he say!

“Why didn’t you come?”

 Gopi does not speak. His body shivers—

 “Idiot, he died dreaming of you—you are a slur on our pedigree—”

The last words aren’t audible to Gopi. “Pedananna died? Longed for me while dying?”—He loses his ground.

“Fearing it would cost you four rupees—what have you done!”

Gopi didn’t reply. He didn’t even look at his father. Casting a vacant look and thinking, “pedananna longed for me!” he remains quiet. This enrages his father even more.

Gopi has not noticed his father coming over to him. His cheek split with his father’s slap. His eyes swam. Tears gushed in streams. His father’s anger didn’t subside yet. “Rascal, I have been watching your behavior. Is this the economic-perspective you have been cribbing in your writings…”

Gopi stared at his father. Looked at him with more pity. His father then appeared to him as the pettiest among the petty men. His stare further infuriates his father. “Get lost … the likes of you have no space in my house… go!” 

Pushing Gopi out, his father bolts the door. Raising himself up slowly, Gopi stands up. “Is this the economic-perspective you have been cribbing in your writings”—his father’s words ring in his ears.

“Yes…yes,” murmuring, hurriedly climbing down the steps, Gopi walks away into the wider world …