As I am returning home, I hear our neighbors quarrelling. Standing in the door, my wife is listening it. 

Our neighboring houses are not placed one adjoining the other in a row. Only one house is adjacent to ours. The other house is opposite to it. So, from our door, both the houses are clearly visible.

I said our neighbors were quarrelling by the time I returned home. There is a big pumpkin between those two houses. It is useful for making vadiyalu (small cakes made out of black gram and grated pumpkin by drying in the sun and eaten as a side dish by frying it in oil). The residents of the houses that are on either side of the pumpkin are quarrelling standing in their respective houses. The house on the other side of the pumpkin belongs to a teacher, while the house this side of the pumpkin belongs to a government officer. The teacher appears to be not in the house. His wife, daughter and son standing on the other side of the pumpkin are quarrelling. The government officer is very much in the house. But he has not come out. On his behalf, his servant is quarrelling.

On behalf of his master-officer, the servant says: “This pumpkin is yours. You must take it. My master-officer also said the same.”  

“With what an intense desire you might have plucked it stealthily! Whoever has plucked must take it,” replies the teacher’s wife. 

“This rascal did it,” says the servant, aiming at the maid servant. 

“How could she do without the knowledge of the master. If she were to do it, she would have taken it to her house. Why would she keep it in your house?” questions the teacher’s daughter. 

“Mind your tongue, don’t say that!” says the servant. 

“When it is done, is it wrong to say so?” questions the teacher’s wife. 

“Mind your words. This fruit is yours. You have to take it,” says the servant. 

In the meanwhile, they appear to have noticed me. For a minute, the words stopped. I went inside pretending not to have heard the quarrel. The moment I stepped in, they resumed the quarrel.  

It is of course common for the servants of my neighboring officer to enter into altercation with the other neighbors on every flimsy issue. Believing that as servants of government officers they are superior even to the celebrities of the town, they scold anybody and everybody and also pick up quarrels, which is quite a routine. But this one—“You should take this pumpkin”, “No, you should take this pumpkin”—is pretty surprising to me.  

In the recent past there was one such quarrel. One, Dhamanaka Sastry had asked Karataka Sastry for a loan of Rs. 100. Saying that he would not take interest and all that, but the amount must be returned by so and so date, Karataka Sastry gave him Rs. 100. But on reaching home, as Dhamanaka Sastry counted the notes they turned out to be 105 instead of 100. Feeling jittery, he returned to Karakata Sastry saying, “Mistakenly you have given me five rupees more. Please take them.” Karkataka Sastry was shocked to hear it. Staring piercingly at Dhamanaka Sastry, he said: “I never falter. Nor did I ever in my seventy years of life. Nor I would ever. I have given you hundred rupees only. I have no relationship whatsoever with that five rupees”. 

“I went home straight and counted it. I haven’t even gone anywhere else. When I counted there are hundred and five rupees. These five rupees belong to you. Otherwise how did they come to me? Taking this, bestow me peace,” said Dhamanaka Sastry. “Granting peace to you should I forego my peace?” asked Karataka Sastry. He added, “Taking these five rupees do you want me to take birth as a dog or a fox in the next life and be a guard at your doorsteps?” 

“It is to get such thing done by me you have planned for this. It is my mistake that I have come for a loan to you!” said Dhamanaka Sastry. 

As these two are quarrelling thus, sitting on the deck of Karataka Sastry’s house, the assembled onlookers not being able to put up with it, made them agree to give that five rupees—as a compromise—for God’s cause. The quarrel on pumpkin—‘You should take the pumpkin, No you should’—reminds me of this incident. I laughed involuntarily. In the meanwhile, my wife who was watching the quarrel standing near the door came inside smiling quizzically. 

“What is all that howling?” asked I. 

“You remember I have told you sometime back. The teacher’s wife has been raising a pumpkin creeper and it is bearing two pumpkins…”  

“Yes”, said I remembering the past. 

“It is sad, someone has plucked away one of the two, last night. It has become a routine for her to climb up the ladder and see those two pumpkins everyday immediately after getting up from the bed. As usual, today when she looked for them, there was the hay used for covering the pumpkin as it is but the pumpkin was not there…” 

“Somebody might have plucked it away”, said I. 

“That’s ok…” said my wife…“If no one had plucked it away how could it disappear. Poor lady! She has been waiting for that pumpkin with a lot of expectations. It appears that her son-in-law is fond of vadiyalu. If there are vadiyalu he doesn’t require anymore curry. Right from the day of planting the seeds of pumpkin, she has been planning to cut the pumpkin one day to prepare vadiyalu and send them to her son-in-law. Indeed, she has raised the pumpkin for that very purpose. Naturally, when the pumpkin disappeared, her heart quavered. Her eyes reeled, and it seems she felt that she may fall off the ladder. When she felt like calling her daughter, the words were frozen on her lips…” 

“Pity”, said I. Of course, I might have even heaved a sigh, though I am not certain of it now, for I really took pity. I can well understand how intricately the twines and the fruits entwine the minds and hearts of the growers.              

“That’s alright. But just as the Pandavas and Kauravas fought keeping Lord Krishna in between, what is that quarrel in the backyard keeping that pumpkin in the middle?” said I. 

“So then listen to me fully. After the pumpkin disappeared, the more she remembered, the more the sorrow swelled up. She wondered who could have plucked it away. But then, whom to doubt? Doubt the neighboring government officer? Doubt us? Not being able to find a way forward, at the same time not being able to hold her anguish, she started cursing whoever would have plucked it with whatever word that came to her mouth. She cursed that they would be ruined. She said their wives will be destroyed. Their children will be wiped out. And when it comes to cursing others, you know how she does that! Pity! vadiyalu and the son-in-law must have stirred up her mind—with innovative curses she scolded people of fourteen generations from this side and that side.

Poor officer, our neighbor, perhaps not being able to put up with such abuses sent his servant with the pumpkin asking him to tell her: ‘Stop abusing and take the pumpkin’. It is the same pumpkin. Its snapped stalk is still wet”. 

“How come? How did he get it?” I asked in surprise. I could not believe that a government officer would steal a pumpkin.

“How am I to know that? But the officer said, ‘The maid servant did it. Because of this rascal, every day has become a nightmare for us’ in a louder tone so that all of us could hear it”, said my wife. 

“Alas! It may be true”. 

“‘Had the maid servant stolen it, she would have taken it to her house, why would she give them! Is the pumpkin bitter? If it were to be bitter, why would she steal?’ So said the teacher’s daughter”. 

“So you mean that the officer had stolen it?” 

“Who would accuse him? He is a good man.” 

Suddenly I remembered the officer’s wife. My wife had no good opinion about her. She believed that she encouraged her servants at home to pick up quarrels with the neighbors. 

“Do you mean to say that she got it done through the servants”, I enquired. 

“What my saying? It is the talk of the whole world. It must be her act. The existence of pumpkins in the teacher’s house must be known to them or to us. Who else knows?”  

“You are saying these words out of your dislike for them”, said I…. “If she had got it done why would the officer blame the servant? He would have scolded his wife”, said I. 

“Having scolded, will he survive?” said my wife.  

“At least he would have kept quiet. Would he reveal their fault? Had he kept quiet, what could anyone have done?” 

“He might have! If only she had allowed him to be quiet!” said my wife.  

I was disquieted by these words. It was she who got the theft done. And when you say that the same lady arranged for its revelation, what am I to say? 

“How can you say that? You mean she made the theft that she herself got executed public by her husband?” questioned I. 

“How am I to say that”, said my wife.   

“That is not the point. There is a reason for her not to retain the pumpkin. You too know how concerned she is about her son?”  

“Yes, don’t I?” said I. I know, for the sake of children there is no prayer that she had not offered, nor was there any temple that she had not visited. It was as a gift of those prayers, this boy was born recently. 

“Because of it she could not conceal the pumpkin. As the teacher’s wife was cursing repeatedly—‘the deceivers shall go barren! The children of the pumpkin thief shall be ruined’—she could not stomach them. Wondering that further delay is of no use she might have told her husband to arrange for returning the pumpkin throwing the blame on the maid servant. Believing it as true that innocent officer, came out openly”, said my wife. 

I pondered. I felt what my wife has told might be true. The officer’s wife is competent of such deeds. One day, being angered at what my children have supposed to have done, she had made her maid servant drop the rubbish that she had swept, into our compound which I had seen with my eyes. Standing at the doorstep, she got it done through her servant. Seeing me, at once she rushed inside. I have noticed many such deeds. Therefore, I felt what my wife had said might as well be true.  

“That’s alright. For whatever reason, when the pumpkin is returned, instead of taking it happily, why is the wife and daughter of the teacher so obstinate to say, ‘How passionately you might have plucked it, you keep it’?” enquired I. 

“Unquenched, revengeful spite!” said my wife. 

I could not understand it. “What is in it for the spite to get quenched?” asked I. 

“Would accepting the pumpkin no sooner than it was given suffice all the cribbing that she had made since morning? All the curses that she uttered till then, were addressed either to a cat or a dog! She could not say even one accusing word against them directly…If she accepts the fruit immediately as soon as they gave, she would not be able to utter even one word against them…nor could she afford to keep quiet!” 

“So, saying ‘you take it’ she quenched her spite by cursing in whatever way she wanted”. 

“Yes. After all, for anyone, the anger must be satiated”, said my wife. 

“True, it must be satiated” I concurred with my wife.  

“By the by how did the story end finally”, asked I.    

“Somehow I have brought about a compromise”, said my wife. 

“How?” 

“How what? Let us agree for a while that it all happened with their knowledge…as you assume, let us agree that she got it done through the servants. Yet, when they say, ‘We do not know; maid servant might have done’ it is not fair of you to drag the dispute any further. It is indeed fair for you to accept the pumpkin, said I to the teacher’s wife”, said my wife. 

“With that, did she take the pumpkin?”  

“Will she take that easily? ‘At least will you agree that the maid servant cannot venture to steal the fruit without the knowledge of her master? If you agree, that is ok for us, we have no objection to take back the pumpkin…’ said the teacher’s wife. Hoping it would somehow diffuse, I said ‘you assume I agree for it’. ‘Then it is ok. It is enough for me. What I desire is it must be known to everybody around us,’ said the teacher’s wife. She then took the pumpkin”. 

I listened attentively to the manner in which my wife compromised the dispute. Having heard I said, “So you have capitalized on the opportunity to quench your grouse against the officer’s wife?”

As I spoke those words, my wife’s eyes glowed. With overflowing smile she said, “Ah! Otherwise she thinks of herself as Queen Victoria!” Not satisfied with it, she added, “Look, the teacher’s wife said that she would give vadiyalu to us too, besides her son-in-law”.